so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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