I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize