My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
