note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
