I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Found the puke drawer
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
