He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
