I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
