Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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