He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
