why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
