brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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