BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
