I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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