My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
