yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
