he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
