you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
