i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
