There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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