i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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