I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
