love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
