Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
