Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
