I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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