i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
