I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I didn't notice because vodka
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
