You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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