Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
