my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
