I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You are the jesus of drinking
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
