i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
