420 ftw
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
