I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
