Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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