I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
