why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
