Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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