Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
