you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
