Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
