Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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