So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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