I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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