I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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