I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
