Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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