I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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