no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Someone shattered a urinal.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
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