i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
