Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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