Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
