Do vagina's smell?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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