we're blogging at a bar
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
