She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize