I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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