Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
