so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
