dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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